


Will you hold me close.

by Gaynarok



Category: Captain America (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, sambucky - Freeform, short and sweet
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-14
Updated: 2020-07-14
Packaged: 2021-03-05 00:40:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 960
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25215649
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gaynarok/pseuds/Gaynarok
Summary: It starts with a hug. Just a hook of an arm over his shoulder and Sam pulling him in so he can tuck his head awkwardly into the crook of his neck
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Sam Wilson
Comments: 2
Kudos: 69





	Will you hold me close.

It starts with a hug. Just a hook of an arm over his shoulder and Sam pulling him in so he can tuck his head awkwardly into the crook of his neck. He doesn’t cry. He’s lost Steve before he can do it again. 

Sam’s eyes keep drifting to him once they get back into the car, a silent question, _are you okay?_ Bucky wants to punch something, he wants to run back to Wakanda; he wants to cry; he wants _Steve._ Bucky stays silent, staring out his window, watching the trees pass in blurs for the rest of the car ride. 

The next few months are silent. He moves into Sam’s apartment quietly; he has nothing, really. What was left in the old apartment was all memories of Steve, everything was about Steve. He just packs a duffle of clothes and a few pictures of him and Natasha and Steve. He shows up on Sam’s doorstep, duffle in hand. 

He doesn’t say it, but Sam nods and let’s him in. 

“The guest bedroom has an extra bed, you’re more than welcome to it, Buck.” 

He doesn’t really sleep anymore. Most nights he lies awake on his back watching the ceiling fan spin. One night in particular he had gotten up to quietly make himself a cup of coffee, Sam joins him a few minutes later, _two spoons of sugar and lots of cream._

They both end up on the couch, hip to hip, watching some old movie about a dinosaur. Sam falls back asleep, head lolled back and snoring awfully loud. Bucky feels something akin to fondness creep into his chest at the sight. 

It goes on like that for a few weeks, Bucky quietly getting up and Sam following some time later. Sam doesn’t mention the muteness of Bucky, he just talks, never expecting an answer. It’s that, _that,_ that makes Bucky feel something he hasn’t felt since the 40s 

_Loved._ Sam makes him feel _loved._

  
  


—

  
  


“What if we tried moving your bed into my room? I know you aren’t sleeping _and_ that you used to share a room with Steve.” 

Bucky shrugs, it might help, but the problem wasn’t about being alone. It was the nightmares, the night he _did_ sleep, his dreams with filled with Steve and that stupid fucking bench. Other times, it’s soft droplets of rain tapping his face while he watches Steve and Peggy through a window, he watches with such a heavy heart as they dance; he always wakes with a startling gasp, hoping to find a soft and sleepy blonde next to him, but he never does. 

“Just for tonight. If it doesn’t work we can move it back, doesn’t hurt to try, right?” 

That’s how they spend the rest of the afternoon, moving Bucky’s bed into Sam’s room. The two beds mushed together to make one big one. 

  
  


“How about we have pizza, popcorn, and a movie?” 

  
  


Bucky nods and smiles. 

  
  


They both end up on the bed, two large pizzas, a bowl of popcorn and an assortment of candy. He falls asleep during the second movie.

  
  


_That stupid fucking bench again, Bucky thinks. Somewhere in the back of his mind, he knows he’s dreaming. Stevie’s gone, Steve’s not actually here. But it doesn’t stop him from indulging himself._

_“I miss you.” Bucky says, Steve’s face slips into amusement, “What do you mean? I’m right here, Buck. I’m not going anywhere.”_

_“Please don’t. I need you.” He says, then leans into pull Steve into a hug, it last merely a second, then suddenly he’s somewhere completely different,_

_Yellow house, white curtains, and **Steve**_ **;** _he watches silently as Peggy and Steve join together and dance, he can’t move, he is trapped, wanting nothing more than to run. But he can’t. Words are being garbled into his ear, distantly Russian. It reminds him of a past he wants to forget, he can't go back, Steve had left him this time, hadn’t even bothered to save him. Why? Why wasn't he good enough for him to stay?_

  
  


“ Bucky.”

“ Buck.”

“Bucky!” 

  
  
  


Bucky snaps awake, gasping and drenched in sweat. It takes a minute, but when he finally understands he’s safe. He looks over to meet Sam’s concerned face. 

  
  


“You were having a nightmare.” Sam states blandly. His hand comes down to pat Bucky’s chest reassuringly. 

  
  


“You’re safe, Buck. It wasn’t real.” 

  
  


_I’m here._ He says silently. 

  
  


Bucky nods, maybe it’s his sleep hazed mind, but he’s rolling on his side and pushing backwards until he’s pressed against Sam’s chest. Sam relaxes, his arm coming to wrap around him. 

  
  


“Goodnight, Bucky.” 

  
  


—

  
  


He wakes before Sam, slipping from the bed and into the kitchen, and makes them coffee to have when they get back from their run. Sam comes out a few moments later, sleepy and his hand scratching his stomach. Adorable, Bucky thinks, his chest swelling with love. 

  
  


“I love you.” It’s the first thing he’s said in months, but he means it with everything in him. Sam had shown genuine kindness and compassion, even when Bucky gave nothing in return. 

  
  


Sam’s head snaps up. “Holy shit.” Is what he says, then he’s rushing forward to take Bucky into his arms. The hug is full of emotion, one of those tight, powerful, passionate hugs that leave you almost breathless afterwards — if he wasn’t breathless after, he definitely is when Sam slips a hand behind his neck to pull him into a kiss. It’s short and sweet, just a simple press of lips. But it’s enough. Sam breaks it, only to rest his forehead against Bucky’s. 

  
  


“ _I love you._ ” Bucky breathes again. He needs Sam to know it. He can’t live another moment without Sam knowing how much he meant to him. 

“I know.” Sam whispers. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



End file.
